Tuesday, August 17, 2010


A couple weeks ago, my brother came into town. The day he was leaving my dad hosted a lunch at his house.

As always happens when we're going to Grandpa's, the children were anxious all morning asking if it was time yet.

I talked to my dad the day before and asked what time. He said one. Or maybe one thirty. Or one. He had a doctor's appointment at twelve and thought he'd be home by one, but maybe make it one thirty to be safe.

We showed up at 1:30 and he wasn't back yet. My dad is notoriously late so no one was surprised. Everyone kept asking me what his doctor's appointment was for. A routine check-up, I guess, is what I told them.

Probably twenty minutes later, my dad got home. This is one of those things I will remember vividly forever, no matter how much I want to forget.

Everyone was sitting in the living room and I was in the kitchen looking in the cupboard for a sippy cup for Kendall. My grandma asked my dad what the doctor said. He hesitated. "Are you diabetic?" She asked. I got a sick feeling in my stomach and prayed he was not diabetic. He said, no, his sugars were great. "What is it then?" My grandma asked.


I'm sure we all know those people who are sick and complaining all the time. My dad is not one of them. I had no idea he was not feeling well. Even when he's coughing up a lung and can barely talk in a whisper he says, "it sounds worse then it is".

I have one memory of my dad being sick. He got an pneumonia when I was eleven. Even then, I think the only reason I remember is because my uncle was dying and my dad couldn't be around him.

I don't have a single memory of my dad ever taking a nap or even laying down to rest.

Every day and night, I just pray that he will not have to suffer. I guess that is not realistic, since he is already suffering to an extent both physically and emotionally, but that is my number one hope. Last night Dave gave him a really nice blessing.

As I read the Ensign this weekend, I love what Boyd K. Packer said, "...pray--always pray. An unseen power will hold your hand..."

And we've been doing a lot of praying. Right now is a hard time with too many questions and not enough answers.

This is what I know: Next week, my dad has two consultations to discuss his options. He will have surgery to remove the cancer. All of it. That is the only option.

Next July, my dad will beat me in the 10k, again.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My love

My sweet little girl is officially five. I am pretty sure she had a perfect birthday. This was probably the funnest one yet, as far as Allie actually getting and anticipating what was going on.

This was her first year having a birthday party. Jeremy made invitations (so it's thanks to him that the party happened, I think the actual invitations is the hardest part). It was really fun to watch her and Detmer excitedly run up to the doors and give the invitation. A bummer about a summer birthday is there is always going to be a couple people out of town, but Allie was SO happy with her party. Tonight I asked her what her favorite part of the day was and she said, "when my friend's came". We did a fairy party with all games being fairy centered, made some fairy body glitter, and had cupcakes with fairy dust on top and the favorite, fairy floats to drink. Dave scored a huge bag of fairy candy (who even knew that existed?) which totally added to the party favor bags, which were another huge hit.

For her family activity, she picked Chuck E. Cheese's, where you can feed your family of five for as much as your monthly mortgage. The children love it so much, though. Even Kendall had a blast.
On Sunday we had her family party, and she was more excited for that then her friend party, since she's obsessed with her cousins. She's been asking for a donut maker or cupcake maker ever since last Christmas. These dang things (in case you're not familiar) are about thirty bucks and look like total crap, as in they will break after one use and the donuts/cupcakes will not be edible. A couple weeks ago my sisters' and I were out shopping and I found on a donut maker for six dollars!!! I was so happy. I was totally going to buy it for thirty (if she is still asking for it after nearly a year...) For six bucks, I don't care if it breaks after one use and the donuts are disgusting (I will be much more shocked if it works beautifully and/or serves delicious donuts). Hopefully, it gets this whole thing out of her system.

Grandma and Grandpa Steffensen gave Allie a trip to Cherry Hill for her birthday. She's been asking to go all summer long so I knew she would love this gift. I decided to ask Kelly to watch Detmer and Kendall so I could just focus on Allie and not be so stressed out the whole time. When we first got there, I thought it would be a total bust. Allie didn't want to do anything but swim in the pool (um, could have done that for a whole lot less $$$). I had to laugh when I paid and the girl said something about how cheap it is to get in. Hmm. I guess I just don't get the Cherry Hill thing because I think it's as over-priced as Lagoon for all of it's three water slides. Anyway, we ended up having the best time ever! It was so perfect and I will always remember it as such a great day. Allie normally does not like to do things without Detmer, and I'm glad they love to play together, but this was really one of the first things we've done where she and I really got to have fun and enjoy each other, whereas usually I'm watching her and Detmer play from the sidelines. She was so funny in the lazy river. She hated it and I couldn't figure out why and finally I realized from a comment she made she was afraid of riding on my lap because she thought she was smashing Michael Jackson! So then we decided to just walk around it and that was a total blast. I could have floated in a tube all day, but she giggled almost the whole time we walked. About two hours into the day she decided she would brave the big blue slide. I told her she only had to do it once and we would never do it again if she didn't like it. In typical five year old fashion, as soon as we got done she was like, "let's do that again!" So we did those over and over. It was awesome. After four hours I was done. I started trying to talk her into leaving and telling her we had to get ready for her birthday party, but she was still have so much fun. After FIVE HOURS I finally made her get out. She would have stayed til closing, too bad her mom is so lazy. We had such a great time, I may have to make that a yearly tradition to take each of the kids one on one. (Sidenote: I wanted to take tons of pictures at Cherry Hill so Sunday night I downloaded all my pictures so I'd have a clean memory stick, I charged the camera Monday morning and grabbed it when we came home from the gym. I went to take my first picture and "no memory stick" waaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!)