Thursday, November 5, 2015


We had to be to the hospital by 5:30 and I couldn't be happier about it.  The earlier the better.  Surgery was scheduled for 7:30 and the two hours in between were not that smooth.  Apparently the hospital got a brand new computer system and the nurse didn't know how to work it, so it delayed us a bunch.  Plus our nurse was not our favorite. 
Dave had given me a blessing the night before and I had been incredibly calm since.  I kept waiting to lose it.  When I had Maci, the doctor gave me something in my IV to help me relax and I had been anticipating that.  However, our nurse let me know very adamantly that this particular anesthesiologist would not be allowing that.  She tried to tell me how it was so dangerous which felt like a load of crap to me since I'd had it twice before.  I was very disappointed. 
I stayed really calm throughout all the prep.  I couldn't believe it.  I just kept thinking, "when am I going to start freaking out?"  I actually loved my anesthesiologist despite his refusal to give me more and more and more drugs.  I kept singing a song in my head (when tough little boys grow up to be dads...) and it made me excited to soon meet my baby. 
Because of the complications of the loss of our baby boy last year, I was a lot more nervous about the surgery.  The complications I had with our baby boy could have been a lot worse, and such a thing can result in the loss of the baby and the mom, and even though we'd had several visits with a specialists and they didn't feel I was at risk, I couldn't help but have it in the back of my mind.  I didn't even let myself close my eyes because I was afraid of flat lining.  The anesthesiologist kept telling me I was doing great so that made me feel relief. 
I told Dave I hoped she came out with a loud cry so I could know she was doing well and she did not let me down.  They showed her to me for an instant and I saw her dark hair, just like the girl of my dreams.  They weighed her (6 pounds 10 ounces or 6 pounds 6 ounces depending on who you believe) and Dave was able to bring her back to me almost immediately.  It was magical.  This is a new policy, in the past all my babies have left me right away and I'm in the operating room without Dave or the baby.  But Dave laid her right by my head and I couldn't even believe how madly in love I was with this baby that I barely laid eyes on.  I was so overcome with gratitude.
As per my usual I got the horrible shakes after surgery.  I begged for millions of warm blankets so I could hold my baby girl for the first time.  It felt like a full day before I finally stopped shaking enough but it was probably closer to five minutes.  I loved holding her. It felt like the best dream I ever had.  I could not believe she was really finally here. 
 This was the first picture I sent to my family to let them know she was here.  My dad said he loved seeing that picture because he could tell I was truly and sincerely full of joy and he knew at that point that all had gone well.  I think she's about thirty minutes old in that picture. 

We had planned in advance for the kids to come meet her and have a couple hours before anyone else came.  I had prepped them a little bit before that I would be in a hospital gown with machines around me and I might look a little different but I was hoping they wouldn't be afraid of me like when Maci was born.

As soon as they walked in their eyes went straight to Sunny (who was still Ziggy at this point) and their reaction was absolutely priceless.  I could tell it was a dream come true for them as well. 

They were so sweet making sure to come give me some attention.  Allie and Detmer were continually rubbing my arm and asking me if I needed anything.  I asked the kids if they thought it was crazy to see me in a bed with the gown and machines and Detmer said, "I think you look cute, Mom!"  I just love him.  Sunny was so calm while they were there and didn't mind being passed around a million times. 

As part of the new hospital policy, they didn't even take Sunny out of the room to bathe her, they brought the bath to us.  It was awesome since I've never gotten to see it before.  She hated the bath, loved the hair wash.

Her first time out of the room was when she went to the nursery at night.  I couldn't even fall asleep I was so deliriously happy.  All I could do was lay and think of her and thank Heavenly Father that she was here with us safely.  I couldn't even wait for her to get brought back into me to eat.  Well, not eat, she had no interest in that, but to try and force feed her.  We had so much fun with our Halloween baby and her various costumes.  She didn't mind getting dressed up as much as I thought.  Well, she hasn't really fussed at all just yet so I guess so far she doesn't mind much of anything!!

This picture of our biker gang cracks me up.  I was so nervous putting on Sunny's glasses she ended up looking more like an aviator!!