Friday, November 4, 2016


I've been listening to Christmas music and these lyrics hit me. 

"Have you wondered as you've watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am..."

Hearing this made me think of my sweet Sunny. Everyday I am grateful that she came to our family. And yes, I definitely have often wondered, as I watch so many friends and loved one struggle to have a baby, why she came. I'm grateful every single day that Heavenly Father saw fit to send us this baby!!  I was so desperate for her.  I have often wondered if deep down inside I knew there was another girl who was meant to be ours forever. Or maybe I just wanted a baby. I know everyone looked at me and wondered why I couldn't be content.  I had FOUR kids!  That's pretty dang magical.   But I was so NOT content. I needed her in my life before I even knew her.  

I am totally obsessed with her one year old pics. She was such a ham!  I asked Allie to come along and be my assistant and Sunny loooooved having both of our full attention. When I put her on the bench she swung her legs back and forth and man...the adorableness!!! 

We love her little personality. She treats so many of the words we say. She has a few words she says consistently, like mama and dada, of course. 

When she wakes up she calls for me. "Mom mom mom mom."  Its the greatest. 

She started to crawl at church. The kids were so excited.  Allie came home and wrote it in big letters on the calendar. So I can definitely say it was Sept 19!

The kids are trying so hard to teach her to walk. They really, well *I* really, want her walking before our upcoming trip.  She practices daily so we'lol see if that speeds things along or not. 

She was 17 pounds 9 ounces!!  Her doc commented that she finally learned to enjoy eating. Who knows but yay!  she was in the 10% from the second. 

Thursday, November 3, 2016

My Life

Last night I was out late and Allie sent me a text that she had cupcakes for me. I told her thanks and just thought she brought them back from Daves parents.  When I finally got home she was waiting for me even though it was past bedtime. She was so excited. She had made me cupcakes and written me the seeetest note that made my life!  I especially loved how she signed it Allie (your best friend). Her cupcakes were yummy. It was funny because there were seven and Dave said she guarded them with her life and wouldn't let the kids even sniff them. It was so cute but even I wouldn't eat seven cupcakes so today everyone got to have one for their after school treat. We adore this girl. On Sunday she was being a stinker and she's like, "sorry I'm so sassy tonight".  Then she didn't stop. She's hardly ever like that. She's usually so happy. On Sunday night she was home with just Dave, Sunny, and me. Being the day before Halloween Dave thought it would be funny to put on a mask and scare Allie. Scare her he did. She freaked out. Screamed and started crying. We felt sooooo bad. We were like "what do you want?  Can we offer you a million dollars?"  She settled for some frozen lemonade and Dave was pretty much her servant. He could hardly sleep he felt so bad.

Det is awesome. He's having so much fun with his YouTube channel. So many moms are judging me for letting him do it but I love it!!!  It totally showcases how hilarious and loving and talented he is. I love when he has Sunny on his videos. He's so sweet with her. When I was doing his Halloween party one of his friends points to Sunny and said, "is that the girl from your videos?"

Kendall and Maci get home from school and play play play. It is reallllly hard for me to say "stop playing and come do homework!"  I always read these studies about how kids watch four hours of tv a day. How?  My kids watch zero and they still don't have time for homework. I mean they usually do it but ugh it's too much. They want to play!!

I am soooo so so so so happy that we took Kendall out of Chinese. She's done 95% better. She still has struggles but I know she'll catch up. She's so much less tired and fussy.

Maci taught herself to ride a bike. Sorry to all the sucker parents who run behind a bike for hours. I mean, I've done it. But it's pointless because kids teach themselves. You just have to give them time. That's my expert parenting tip. She's probably ridden her bike for 20 hours since learning. She almost passed up sleeping over at cousins. She was torn on leaving her bike. Today after school she didn't even come in and say hi to me!!!  Kendall just let me know she was out riding her bike. What a stinker.

As soon as my pictures upload I'll write about my one year old. She's amazing. She's a big stinker. She is mad if I'm not within arms reach of her. She never used to ply in the pantry but ever since Halloween she is constantly sneaking in there. I SWEAR she can smell the candy!!

Friday, September 9, 2016

It's not nothing

I read an article that someone had posted on Facebook. It was from a mom whose son had just graduated high school. She was like, "it's not a death or a job loss or anything tragic, but it's not nothing."

I've thought about it a lot since.  Because sometimes we don't have headline newsworthy things happen, but they are such a big deal in our lives.

That's pretty much how I felt about Maci starting kindergarten. Everyone was just acting all normal.  I was going through this huge transition in my life. Why was no one sending me flowers and bringing in meals?  Because that's how it felt at the time.

I cried the day before she started.  The first day that Dave and I dropped her off.  And the first day she ACTUALLY started. Why must it drag on?

But man. I had two events this summer (this being one and the other being the death of my grandma) where my tears were so fully loaded and the thing I was crying about was not really the thing I was crying about.

With Maci-thank goodness she was there. Because when I was trying to get pregnant, and getting pregnant, and losing babies, Maci was there. And I never had to go home to a quiet house and I never had time to sit around and mope. There was always lunches to make, museums to visit, friends to invite over, etc.

As Dave and I walked home from dropping Maci off at kindergarten my heart almost burst. Because I was pushing a stroller. And during our struggle to get a baby if I would let my mind wander to that day when Maci started kindergarten, just the very thought of going home alone was so daunting. I was not ready for it. I often cried to my sisters, "a lot of people quietly and gracefully move onto this next phase in life. Why can't I?  I may be forced to do it, but I won't go quietly. I'll be forced kicking and screaming."  Oh man. I am sooooo grateful to have this baby. There are not words to express the pure joy and adoration that she has brought.

Maci LOVES kindergarten. Everyday she can't wait to go. And I'm totally fine. I knew I would be. I knew I wouldn't cry everyday. I knew I would adjust after a week or so. That's just how it is.

Going into the next phase in life is fun and exciting. I love watching my kids grow. I love the people they are becoming.

But that doesn't mean that I'm not sometimes going to mourn moving to the next stage.

And it's especially easier if I can do it with a baby in my arms.

Oh and I also have three other kids who started school.  Haha. More stories about them later. My lighting was horrible for first day of school pics but they were as cute as could possible be.

(I've tried to post a bunch of pics of the kids first day of school but so far I only see one of Kendall so hopefully they're all there when I hit publish).

Wednesday, August 3, 2016


Allie is 11!!!  

She had an AMAZING year in school. We loved both her teachers so much!
She loves to read
Loves to swim
Has an easy breezy time learning new things
Loves her introverted personality
Loves going to parties
Loves the her siblings
Is so amazing with Sunny
So brave!  She will try anything. 

For her birthday we went to Roy Aquatic. At first it was just going to be me and Allie. Then she decided to invite Det. She could live in a pool, I swear. She enjoys the slides and diving board but can also just swim around like a fish. 

For her birthday lunch she wanted to go to Chuck A Rama. I can't believe I can't convince my kids to go to another place!!!  To be honest, though, I'm pretty picky myself when it comes to eating out. But why can't my kids just love Chick Fil A?  Maybe one day. The funny thing is, they mostly love the drinks. We had 19 cups. And they ate chicken. They really don't even try anything else. So I asked Allie if she wanted to go just the two of us or if she wanted to bring along her siblings. She was insistent that she only wanted Det to come.  "He just gets me," she said. I love their cute relationship. They're best friends and they always get along and have fun together. 

I told Allie that ten was such a good year for her because it's the year she met Sunny and she happily agreed. I can't believe how amazing she is, the way she takes care of Sunny. They have the cutest relationship. 

Monday, June 27, 2016

Phase 10

On Saturday we were playing Phase 10. I had laid down to move to the next phase but not gotten rid of all my cards. No one else had laid down. Detmer had a skip and Dave was explaining how to use it and that you usually want to use it on the person who is ahead. Det responds, "but I can't skip Mom. She's my best friend!"  It was the highlight of my life.

A couple weeks ago we had his follow up appointment about his broken finger. After we left, the doctor called and said the radiologist looked at his x-Ray and Det will need surgery. I was so devastated, of course, because MY BABY and also all the other stuff like not being able to swim this summer because of a cast.

The hand specialist at Primary Children's is only in every other Wednesday, so of course we waited forever for an appointment. We told Det it would be great because we would get Dad from work and after the appointment the three of us would go to lunch. It left the other kids wishing for a broken finger. Unfortunately Det picked Chuckarama for lunch, despite my intentions to convince him otherwise. I always say I could just go get the kids slurpees for a dollar and skip the mediocre food. They end up getting five icee drinks and one half eaten plate of food. But they all love it, much to the dismay of Dave and me.

So the morning of the appointment Det stayed home and I asked him if we should get Allie checked out from school to come with us. He was so excited. It totally changed the day. I even let them bring their iPads. Allie and Det were so cute and excited. I'm so glad they have each other.

When we got to primary's it said we would wait 60 minutes to see the doctor and of course that is super frustrating. Dave dropped Det and me off while he and Allie went to park and they took us back before they even got there. The OT said it was a miracle because they'd been so behind all day.

We first saw a fellow and he told us about the break and said Det would not need surgery. It's hard to describe the relief I felt. I had tried not to think about it too much but when I did I was so nervous. From what the doctor had told us I didn't even dare hope we would escape surgery. I'm pretty sure I was happier than Det. We also saw the hand specialist and an OT hand specialist who molded a cast to Dets finger. It had worked a lot better. I feel so grateful he doesn't have to have surgery. He is so active. He plays from sun up until sundown so it was extra hard to see him sit in pain. He's not one at all that can just sit for hours. He's in the cast three more weeks. The countdown is on!


 Kelly bought this dress when I was pregnant with Allie. It has seen better days, but all four of my girls have worn it on Fathers Day.
This baby makes us laugh with her stretches. She does this all the time. 

                                         Allie's class has had a super fun month doing an activity almost everyday.
                                           She wore this lil number on hat day!
This baby is so loved and spoiled!!

Sometimes by the time I get to my class at the gym around 8:55 in the morning I cannot believe how much has happened. So many stories, activities, organizing, eating, chatting. So thankful I was blessed with (mostly) kids who are morning people.